About two months ago, I sat down and wrote out my dad’s journey with Multiple Myloma.  I wrote about his diagnosis, his struggle, his story, and how grateful I was to be celebrating his 75th birthday when just a couple of years ago we believed we were going to lose him.

Then I deleted the entry, because my dad has always been a very private man, and it wasn’t my place to lay it all out for the world to see.

Less than two months later, I stood with family around his hospital bed while he took his final breath.  His passing was “unexpectedly expected”.  He was doing so well for so long… until he suddenly wasn’t.  The downward spiral was rapid.  I am heartbroken.  I am lost.  I am angry.  I can’t believe that such a huge personality, such a strong, good human being, such an amazing life is just… gone.  I know he is in a better place, reunited with my mom, his parents, and so many other friends and family that have gone before him.  I know he’s no longer suffering, no longer sick, no longer struggling, but it is so hard.  I don’t have any more words.  I just miss my dad.